Dear Gaga,

My doctor believes that I'm developing lupus.  Before I turned 24, I thought I was as healthy as anyone can be.  Now I'm 25, and everything seems to be falling apart.  I mean, lupus?? Seriously??? I read that you have recently been tested for ANAs and that they came back positive.  I'm wondering how you're doing.  You must have symptoms, because doctors don't just offer these kinds of blood tests for no reason.  Have you been feeling as tired as I have?  I don't even do anything to merit exhaustion, but sometimes I feel like I've just climbed a big hill when I've only walked a block. 

When my doctor met me for the first time this summer, he listened to my symptoms and checked my joints.  He said that I looked pretty good and the blood test results from other doctors indicated that I'm healthy.  Nevertheless, he prescribed me with Plaquenil for my joint/muscle pain and drew blood for his own tests.  I asked him what it could be that was causing my discomfort; he wasn't sure but he was nearly certain it wasn't lupus.  I saw the doctor again, last week.  His thinking had completely changed.  My "complement C4" is low, and apparently that is a dead-on indicator of lupus in progress.  He said that it was a good thing that he had me on the Plaquenil and that I should watch my diet and exercise when I can.  He said he won't make the diagnosis "until" I have my first flare. 

So now what?  Watch my diet, sure, but does this mean that a flare is inevitable?  What is a flare going to feel like?  A best friend in high school lost her mom to lupus ... I don't want to die!!?!

What is a girl to do, Gaga?  Getting older is the pits...

Gaga,

Thank you for being the voice for those who cannot be heard. Don't Ask Don't Tell is an abomination.  I hope we do not have to wait until our generation takes power over the government to repeal such a hateful, hurtful aberration from the constitution.

Faithfully,

Karma

Dear Gaga,

I sent a Dear John letter to an elderly man yesterday. I never, in my wildest imagination, EVER thought I would have an old married man thinking of me as anything other than a student, a friend, a whippersnapper, or perhaps a surrogate granddaughter. I never thought that the age old rule that says men and women can never be just friends would apply in a scenario involving a 50 year age difference and a spouse.  Who can we young beauties trust, if even the septuagenarians are out to get us?

~ Karma

Dear Gaga,

I went to the Sunset Strip Music Festival last weekend. Saw your friends, The Semi-Precious Weapons. They were super awesome, of course. Jason kindly cooled the crowd with champagne. He tried to crowd surf, but he is rather tall and I think he may have landed on the ground somewhere. He is a brave one.

~ Karma

Hey Lady,

Have you discovered etsy yet? High fashion is great, but to me, true fashion is all about lifting up the new and true avant garde. Check it:







A few fresh statements I thought worthy of attention. Time to go jump my boyfriend. Peace!

~ Karma

P.S. Currently addicted to Pink Sugar by Aquolina. I can't stop smelling myself...

P.P.S. In case it's necessary to say this, I am in no way affiliated with etsy or any of the above artists. I just think they're awesome. :)

Miss Gaga,

Please do a show with Morrissey. I'm begging you.

Thank you kindly,

Miss Kamilienne

Dear Gaga,

I wandered into an Anthropologie store yesterday. I had never been into one before. And I loved it. Except, if I could, I would rather make my own versions of the "homemade" stuff they sell so expensively. If only I could stick to a project long enough to finish it before starting another one.

~ Karma

P.S. Just discovered Overstock.com has very similar items available for less. Cha-ching!

Dear Gaga,

Listening to your music is uplifting, inspiring, and empowering. I can't wait for your next song. In the meantime, I dance to Starstruck in the bathroom as I prepare for the evening.

Showertime!

Monster Love,

Karma Kamilienne

Dear Miss Gaga,

I read your feature in Vanity Fair. As a Southern Californian, I'm sad that you don't like Hollywood. Not that I blame you, of course; I don't like it either. It's just that I'm kicking myself that I didn't take opportunities to meet you when I had them. I really do think you would like the South Bay better; you should give it a try.

Anyway, I am grateful for your greatness. You have taken your dreams and transposed them into The Big Picture. I have so many dreams, yet it seems I can't realize just one. I love to read about you and watch your music, to live through you vicariously. Living the dream, whatever that means.

In my head, I've sang and danced to your songs, imagining myself wearing outlandish outfits and pouring my heart out with your words. I don't want no paper gangster.

Growing up, I never imagined I would live a normal life. I believed I was destined for something big. Even the peers who taunted me couldn't keep me down. I think it was the overwheming anxiety that did me in, or perhaps the psychiatric test conductor who concluded my dreams were the stuff of grandiose naivete. Apparently, such thinking is suitable for little children only, not for 13 year olds who should be learning the ropes of "reality."

Now at 25, I live in a small studio in a Los Angeles suburb, with a dead-end job and only dreams for the future. I have lots of dreams; they are nothing like they used to be, but I would be a wealthy young woman if dreams alone made money. Maybe I'll share them here. Maybe..

Until next time,

Karma Kamilienne